So my mom told me to go put oil in the car and I saw this.
Mom: Is that a hat??
Me: No mom… Hats don’t breath… Or have teeth.
Mom: The fancy ones do…
Me: … Ok, mom. It’s a hat.

skankocean:

this is one of my favorite bible verses

skankocean:

this is one of my favorite bible verses

(Source: mariahmoment)

38,240 notes

khrispkream:

boy we weak as hell in america

Das so fire bruh

khrispkream:

boy we weak as hell in america

Das so fire bruh

(Source: daleconcomba)

209,445 notes

riningear:

italiyeah:

tonyswirl:

ineffable-hufflepuff:

misandryevans:

babymarkers:

the-chocolate-chip-pancake:

thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

none pizza with left beef

It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef

ive missed you

#THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING JUST THE BEEF#YOU COULD TELL THE POOR CHEF WAS JUST FUCKING#DISGUSTED#WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS#WHAT THE F U C K IS THIS#WHO THE FUCK ORDERS A#A /NONE/ PIZZA?? JUST BEEF ON THE LEFT???#FUCK IT#F U CK IT#JUST COOK THE FUCKING DOUGH#HERE LET ME THROW THIS FUCKING HANDFUL OF OBLONG BEEF CHUNKS AT YOUR NONE FUCKING PIZZA#FUCK YOU#FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU STAND FOR#LEFT FUCKING BEEF (via askscientistcarlos)

I love None Pizza with Left Beef.

3th time i’ve reblogged this

3th

tumblr people love this. reddit people love this. 4chan scum loves this. there is just something intrinsically hilarious about none pizza with left beef. bless 


I love none pizza with left beef day at school

riningear:

italiyeah:

tonyswirl:

ineffable-hufflepuff:

misandryevans:

babymarkers:

the-chocolate-chip-pancake:

thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

none pizza with left beef

It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef

ive missed you

 (via askscientistcarlos)

I love None Pizza with Left Beef.

3th time i’ve reblogged this

3th

tumblr people love this. reddit people love this. 4chan scum loves this. there is just something intrinsically hilarious about none pizza with left beef. bless 

I love none pizza with left beef day at school

(Source: ollielephant)

748,194 notes

validx2:

Even mom  turnt

40,046 notes

woesleeper:

susemoji:

where do these white dads come from

I’m crying

This is fucking magical.

(Source: vinebox)

352,274 notes

My first day back on tumblr and I’m already trying to fight the urge to reblog porn..

1 note

gryffindor-chick:

pi4nobl4ck:

Your tax dollars at work

THIS IS WORTH EVERY DIME

gryffindor-chick:

pi4nobl4ck:

Your tax dollars at work

THIS IS WORTH EVERY DIME

635,328 notes

confusedtree:

My dad stopped expressing disappointment in me years ago and just sort of gets tired now

168,257 notes